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I once felt a bump. Had a panic attack and went to the ER. Turns out it was a Tick. Not even joking.

What's the most important thing in life?

I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but what effect is this having on your finances and living conditions? As an American, such a diagnosis would be doubly awful knowing the toll on the family finances on top of knowing it’s a fatal condition.

Knowing fate is knocking at your door far too soon is awful, and I’m very sorry you and your family have to deal with this.

I'm sorry to hear that. How does this affect sperm production? Have you ever thought to freeze your sperm hoping in something for the future?

Hmm i hope i can answer this, so that I'm satisfied - bear with me English is not my first language:

I hope you mean how i do see my life as whole, in regards to that i know now its is over in a few weeks?

Actually, since they said there can nothing be done anymore, and i hat halve an hour to process, i felt relieve and until now this has not changed. Don't get me wrong the initial message this like bricks. But I would my describe myself as realist. After there was tumor in my lungs and liver after the invasive surgery, i prepared for not being able to make it. At least mentally. I told this my family and friends. But People actively WANT to believe 'ahh its gonna be ok'. I'm not that type of person. I see data - I interpret data - i hear professional options - i make conclusions. So until now i can say that i'm not:

• Angry - at whom?
• Negotiate - with whom?. Cancer is nothing that you can fight - you endure the treatment and if you're lucky you get to life.

I'm:

• Sad of course for my newly wife - The love of my live, i know her since 2016 - i fell in love with her instantly. I know how se looked what first said to me. I remember thinking this is be the one. She had a boyfriend so i friend zoned for 8 years - just being a good to her. Permanently working on myself to deserve her, but not to interfere in here relationship. I lost 70Kg, threw myself into sports - Crossfit/Olymic weightlifting/Marathon running and nutrition. I went on to become really good Software-Engineer - my dreamjob nonetheless!

The first week we got together - after almost 8 Years - had the most crazy week of my life. We said our first 'I Love you' at 20.12.2019. Three days later i got my diagnosis. I asked here - you gonna to this with me? She didn't even think about it. After my initial treatment was done and everything look good, she got diagnosed with cervical cancer. So we dealt with that - because that's how i always imaged being in a relationship - as a TEAM! (she my first everything by the way). Then Corona hit but we had the most fulfilling and loving relationship i could have ever dreamt of. We went from being colleagues to seeing each other the whole day as we worked in the same team. It was wonderful.

Which brinks me to my outlook of life now.

• I did always what i wanted to to with my life
• I achieved more academically and in the workforce than i could have ever imaged. I was the first one in my family go study a STEM mayor no less with grades i'm very proud of. After being 160kg heavy - i made myself into the most capable me that i could. I was able to squat > 150kg for reps, > 180kg deadlifts for reps, i ran a half an a three quarter marathon. I was (for what was possible for me) peek fitness.
• I got to be together with "MY PERSON" alone this means more then the rest that i wrote down here.

I did all my treatments to ensure best chance of survival - even if it destroyed me while doing it.

I did everything 100% or didn't do it at all. By living like this, I can sit here with 31 years and say it sucks i did not get more time - but i have no regrets, and in Summary my life is a win.

I bet there are quite a few people who life to 80+ and cannot say that.

This helps me :)

Do you find any relief in confronting death? So many people, your age and younger, look at their situation, and the general direction of the world, only to see a great deal of hardship with little prospects and no mechanism to improve things for themselves. I don’t know what life you live now, or what you will be leaving behind, but it sounds like you have a fixed amount of time. You can reasonably predict every consequence for you actions going forward; to what extent do you feel like you are not responsible for yourself anymore since your future has been decided for you?

Edit: also, do you anticipate and afterlife? What existential philosophy did you hold before your diagnosis? Has it changed in light of everything? Has it served you well?

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Hey mate, that's not great to be sure but hey, I'm going to hope you have an amazing adventure in your next life. The universe is too vast and mysterious to not have somewhere for that consciousness to go to.

We are all going to die eventually mate so it's all about collecting as many meaningful experiences along the way! Hopefully you had loads! What are your thoughts now on death? Have you heard of folks that use psychedelics before death to offset any fear of mortality?

Seeing a urologist twice a year for a ball review would bankrupt most Americans. There’s no way my insurance would cover that.

I work with many people who are terminally ill of cancer. First of all, fuck cancer. Second, stay strong and enjoy the happy moments.

Third, how do you contemplate death? Are you scared, or maybe even excited/curious?

It may sound weird but patients have told me knowing they are facing death soon changed their outlook on it. One of them told me they were excited to leave the life of knowing it wouldn't get better and curious to finally discover the secret of death and the afterlife. If the question is too personal please feel free to either not answer or pm me.

Anyway, you're awesome for doing the AMA and again stay strong brother.

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Do you have a bucket list you want to finish? How will you spend the rest of your time? Family? Travel?

Wish you the best of luck!

Fuck cancer!

Much love brother. What brings you joy right this very moment?

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I had this, they called it a testicular pearl. Its a bump, enough to scare you but tiny in comparison to what you should be worried a out.

My friend who had Testicular cancer said it was about the size of a chick pea. Considerably large when you think about where you're finding it.

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Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for your situation. A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with spindle cell carcinoma. In treating him for that the found another tumor in his brain. What should I do to help him, or what can I do to make this time easier on him? We still hang out and when we do we basically ignore the fact he has cancer. We try not to let it change who he is or how we treat him. We've organized a cash bingo for him in April to help with money and bills. Its hard to think about losing him but everything he talks about his dr apointments things seem worse. He's undergoing his first radiation this week. Last week was first chemo. Soon he'll be having the brain tumor lasered.

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I have a similar thing. The docs had called me back and told me I had what's called "Testicular Microlithiasis" which is essentially little calcium build up's in the testies. There seems to be quite mixed information in regards to it but from what I've been told and seen, it's usually not something to worry about unless you or your family has a history with Cancer.

Don't assume that. Think of wherever you work. Think about how things get lost. Think about how mistakes are made there. Think about that time someone forgot something important and it messed up a bunch of other stuff.

Now think of your doctor's office. They're just a bunch of office workers with a couple of specialists. They fall prey to all the same mistakes as offices everywhere. Normally they should call you back to tell you the scan was negative. They didn't. Why? Because it was negative? Or did your result get picked up with someone else's and put in the wrong folder, unseen?

Call back and follow up. It's probably nothing, but why risk it?

Please never assume you haven't fallen through the cracks, call them.

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Are you afraid of dying? Have you felt like you have done all you wanted

Call the doctors office and ask. Sometimes there are mistakes! You have to take charge of your own health care.