What is your opinion on parts creating recurring pain in the body? It’s known that emotional traumas can manifest as physical pain, and can reoccur when the emotional trauma is not treated or healed. And parts manifest because of traumas as well. Is it possible that parts manifest as physical pain? If so, what would you recommend as a starting point to deal with this?

Sometimes there’s kicking, backing up, pushing to expel energy. Or sometimes gentle hand movements, head movements with pleasant energy moving. I just haven’t seen videos where IFS involves much movement. There might be sounds but the client is just sitting there. I experience it more somatically. I see colors and images with my eyes closed too.

Oh so sorry! I must have missed it. Thank you for the direction :)

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Hi u/txmsh3r, I answered a similar question here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8n446s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Check that out and lmk if you have more questions!

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OP is privately verified.

Here's one: how much is "focusing on your yourself" before you reach a level of narcissistic psychopathy?

Here's another: do you think that social media is aggravating our levels of narcissism to the point were empathy is discarded in favor of the ego?

And here's another: is there any study regarding the psychological effects of swiping in dating apps? My guess is that it further aggravates our levels of indifference towards people by turning them into commodities.

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u/Remote_Comment2941 I love this question.

There are some fundamental differences between the Jungian approach and IFS. I work with the Jungian approach as a robust framework, and IFS as an invaluable tool / technique to deploy within that framework.

A central tenent of the Jungian approach is forming a respectfully collaborative relationship with our unconscious. To do this, we must listen to the unconscious, and Jung identified two major tools for this: dreams, and active imagination. However, he barely defined active imagination and few people know of the practice.

IFS solves that problem.

IFS provides a clear way to do active imagination. It provides a learnable and reliable pathway into the dimension of psyche, the dimension of our parts.

This is how IFS can be an invaluable addition to Jungian analysis.

One of the pitfalls of IFS, however, is that if it's not wielded with the correct attitude it can cause harm. It's very important we approach parts work with an attitude of respect that our unconscious has the right to keep some material in the darkness. We must respect the mystery.

IFS is a powerful shamanic tool and must be used with respect.

IFS can become a weapon if we use it to try to bludgeon our unconscious into showing things it's not ready to, or if we try to manipulate our parts.

This boils down to it being very important that we identify our Self-Like Parts.

I've gotten a little off-track from your question, but hope this helps!

(Note: You can learn about Self-Like Parts here: https://seekdeeply.com/ifs-therapy-guide-6-most-common-self-like-parts-framework-blog-post/ and join a free workshop for identifying yours here: https://seekdeeply.com/workshop-ifs-therapy/)

How does one begin to do IFS on themselves ? :)

I sense uneasiness when I feel I don't understand what they want me to do.
Maybe it's best to share two examples:

Example 1: Coach uses slightly different model and I want to understand it

For example a coach I worked with in the past had a model of 1) 'pain', which seemed to me to be the initial bodily response to a trigger, surrounded by 2) a cloud of 'thoughts', which according to her were generated by 'the narrator'. She asked me to give a name to 'the narrator' which sounded to me like a very very simplified version of IFS, with one part instead of many. I tried to ask for clarification: did she mean the sort of underlying pain of an exile, or did she mean the reaction of the protector stepping in in response of the trigger, which could also be pain/anger/panic/strong emotions. My impression is that these questions were unexpected, and if I try to explain IFS, she maybe felt like losing control of the moment and of course they want to achieve something with this modality, so me going into analysis mode is not what she wanted.

I wouldn't want coaches/therapists to be intimidated of IFS, which actually helps me to understand what they want to teach me.

Again, I think it's very complementary.

Example 2: Coach uses visualisation exercise and I want to be carefull with it.

Another experience were this would be usefull is of another coach, who has an exercise to find a core phrase that describes the negative self-image that a person has created of themselves. We talked about something that happened in my youth, and then to imagine my younger self walking in the room, describing what my young self was doing, and speaking to my young self in terms this imaginary me of that age would understand. This of course reminded me of IFS. The first time I spoke it came out as advice. I acknowledged the advice part and the part that felt sad about me not approaching from self, and tried again, with a pleasant interaction.

I would have loved to be able to take a little bit more time, maybe just in my own head, to get a feel for some of the protectors popping up and to give them some acknowledgement, which from an IFS lense seems a very necessary thing to do this responsibly! But I (again) don't want to come across as not trusting the exercise or the person leading it.

Hello Lucille Aaron-Wayne,

I have a few questions.

1. How do you ensure that people do not retraumatize themselves while doing solo therapy? Or are you simply teaching people how to use IFS outside of a therapy paradigm and as a cognitive tool?
2. Have you worked with anyone who has Dissociative Identity Disorder? What were the unique challenges associated with teaching IFS to someone with DID? Are you of the philosophy that DID patients should seek reintegration? I know therapists sometimes disagree on the reintegration component.
3. Unrelated to IFS, can you speak to the increased mental health crisis that is typically linked to social media platforms like Instagram and Tiktok?

Therapy involves sharing personal information and experiences, and that works for some people. However, there must be a cohort of folks where this type of sharing is detrimental. Why is that and how do you ameliorate this type of subconscious resistance/sharing guilt?

I’m a new therapist and I’m really interested in incorporating IFS into my practice. Where should I start?

Deep questions, u/thinkandlive!

Let's start with the easiest first 😝

- Do you believe that each of us has something like a calling/soul path or is it "just" choice and learning enough and getting good at something no matter what it is?

IFS says that each of our parts has its own unique essence, which is IMO a way of acknowledging the unique spark and soul-quality in each part.

To answer more fully, let's look at the Jungian approach. Jungian analysis says - and I believe this to be true as well - that each of us is here for a reason. We are here to get closer and closer to wholeness, to becoming who we really are. This soul path process is called individuation. And what that individuated person is like will be different for each of us. (Just as an "individuated" dandelion will look totally different from an "individuated" snapdragon flower.) And it will depend on where and when we were born, and the life circumstances that come our way.

This view says that the greater Self calls us to our unique path of individuation, and it is up to us to willingly follow or to get dragged there, kicking and getting scraped up along the way. It's up to us to learn how to hear, accurately interpret, and choose how to respond to the call of Self. (We are not meant to simply roll over and automatically do what Self is proposing - that would be blind following which is just as problematic as totally ignoring Self.) BTW the Jungian understanding of Self is different from the IFS Self.

Part of the process of individuation process involves developing all 8 of our functions: Thinking, Feeling, Intuition and Sensation (each can be introverted or extraverted).

We are born with easy access to some of these functions, and a much more difficult time accessing others. That is something we don't get to choose. The functions that are our natural home will always be our natural home. However, we can develop the other functions and in fact we must in order to individuate. (For example, think of a stereotypical engineer type who desperately needs to learn how to live not just from logic but also from feeling) Jung calls this typology and it is the basis of personality psychology ... but most personality tests have strayed very, very far from Jung's work.

If you're intrigued and want to know what your own natural gifts are, an excellent resources is the Gifts Compass Inventory which is based very closely on Jung's work: https://giftscompass.com/ (click on "take the GCI")

Ok, next questions!

- Is there a way to make good decision about difficult life choices like changing jobs etc when many parts have different opinions?

One of the most difficult things to do in life is "hold the tension" (another Jungian term). That is, to fully feel the impulse to go towards one choice (held by one part or a cluster of parts), and fully feel the opposite impulse to an opposing choice (held by an opposing part or cluster of parts), at the same time. WITHOUT taking action.

What typically happens is when we discipline ourselves to hold the tension between the opposites - instead of blending with a part and just going with its desires - then the "third solution" comes in. Jung calls this the transcendent function. It's a way forward that we could never have figured out, thought through, noodled out. It leads us out of seemingly neverending state of that tension.

So to your question, holding the tension helps us move forward in the right way for us.

IFS can be an excellent tool for helping us hold the tension. We can hold ourselves as the mediator or therapist, and the parts as the "clients."

Important note: For this to be effective, we need to truly listen to each part. NOT with the goal of solving - if we're doing that, we're in a Self-Like Part. YES do this with the goal of understanding.

One useful method is to apply the EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) approach which is used for couples in conflict to our own parts. Basically, you bring both parts to a solo session. You let the parts know you're going to listen to both of them. Start with one part (Part A), asking it what it's afraid will happen if you don't go with its choice, and asking it to focus on what it feels when it imagines this outcome. Then let it know you're going to check with the other part (Part B). Ask Part B if it heard how Part A feels. Then give Part B the chance to answer the same questions, and check with Part A if it heard that.

That's it.

If it feels right and if the parts want it, you can encourage them to see if they can reach a compromise.

However, simply listening to the parts is often enough. The third solution then often emerges on its own, out of the unconscious.

If needed, you can rinse and repeat. And in the short term, if nothing else, letting the parts fully air their perspectives reduces the charge around the conflict.

Now your other question!

- What do you do in moments where you would need direct access beacuse there is no Self present but you cant reach anyone who know direct access? Like when you are pretty much fully blended with a part and it doesnt know how to unblend even though it wants to but its like it is the only "person" there in that moment?

This can be a good time to bring in the expressive arts. Any time we can externalize a part's experience - that is, take it out of our inner world and give it form in the external world - it changes the psychic material. Jungians would say it's an alchemical process and describe this process as as "transmutation." But we don't need fancy terminology to do it.

So if you're blended with a part, you can provide that part with a means of expression. If you're doing the solo IFS process with my audio guide, instead of journaling you can invite your part to express itself onto the page with art materials. (In my audio guide, I take you through ritual steps [OLD Steps] to contain the experience to avoid overwhelm.) This works with any art modality: music, movement or dance, etcetera. Journaling can also be a way: by putting down in black and white what the part feels, you're inherently acknowledging it's a part, and that creates a sliver of space that is not totally blended with the part.

Another option, which I've been wanting to create for a long time, is a choose-your-own-adventure video with a trusted therapist in which that therapist "leads" you (prerecorded, but you choose your responses) through various steps to try to unblend. If you like this option, stay tuned to my email list https://seekdeeply.com/ - when I create this I'll share it there.

But for now, I'd also suggest that it might not be as necessary to have Self present as you think. If we can simply make a window through which Self could enter, that can be enough. You could ask the part if it'd be willing to allow in a pinprick of Self-energy. If it says yes, just know that there is a tiny bit of space, and be open to allowing what happens to unfold.

Does that help?

Thank you for offering this :)

I'm a therapist very fortunate to be starting a Level 1 training soon. I'm excited and nervous about the experiential nature of it. I'm trying to go in with a beginners mind because while I have a conceptual understanding of IFS, I've done very little of my own work. Do you have any words of wisdom or encouragement on how to get the most out of Level 1?

Awesome!
I was thinking of: authors, scientific research groups, platforms/newsletters/assiociations where professionals share knowledge, commercial organisations and institutes can also do research... Maybe just sources or channels that you think are good to rely on to get new or deeper insights.
I'm very new to IFS (less than a year) so it's difficult to assess where insights are coming from.

What do you think Jung would add to IFS?

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Hi u/EfficientlyEpic I often find that family constellations work easily comes to mind for Dutch therapists and coaches when they hear about IFS. Obviously they are very different, but that can be handy starting ground as it's widely known in the culture and in a similar arena of shamanic healing as IFS.

Is there a particular quality of uneasiness you fear? (For example, are you afraid they'll think you're talking about dissociative identity disorder?)

Hi u/Wrapworks - first of all I want to affirm that your intense somatic experience is completely valid and many people I work with have something like this. That is, if I'm understanding what you're referring to. To be sure: Will you say more about what you mean by "somatic movements"? If you can give some examples that will help.

Hi, sorry but your AMA has been removed, as it was reposted too recently.

A person or organization may do one AMA per topic in a three month period. If your organization has experts on multiple topics, more frequent AMAs may be permitted as long as the focus of the AMA is different each time.

Interesting question. I have no professional experience with NLP. I'm afraid I'm only familiar with NLP from Wikipedia which calls it pseudoscientific, and anecdotally from an incredible therapist I worked with once who mentioned she loved NLP - but we never did it so I can't assess its efficacy in any way.

But in general, there are many approaches that recognize the natural multiplicity of the mind, and IFS overlaps with the stance that that's normal.