Hi u/RevolutionaryOwl8087 I appreciate your question.

Re. hands-on-options of recordings, do you mean IFS-specific?

Ok, and do you mean IFS-specific?

Gotcha, u/Wrapworks. I don't know of video recorded demos where such somatic expression is visible. I'm curious, what do you imagine it would do for you if you did find some demos like that?

Hi u/Significant_Diet_474 these are questions many people have, and they're important.

It really depends. Of course we'd need to know what you mean by "benefit." Does that mean generally "feeling better"? Working with an entrenched issue? Dealing with something relatively minor? Having foundational changes?

In my experience, most people feel a benefit after one session.

IFS can be very intellectually satisfying as it often provides us a window into why we've been doing certain things (read: why parts have done what they've done). Hence the immediate relief.

However, after the novelty wears off, there's more variation in how much benefits different clients get. After all, the satisfaction of insight doesn't necessarily correlate to true healing.

One of the problems with IFS is we can get distracted by those big insights - and even by the genuinely moving connections with parts - and not realize that on the deep level we're not changing if IFS is our only tool. The best way I can explain this is that IFS is like doing a renovation in your house (the house = you). It can be really satisfying to renovate part of a room, different rooms, etcetera. It can change our quality of life. But if the foundation of the house is not sound, there's a major problem.

I've found that something additional is needed: a framework through which to identify the foundational issues in a person. Because otherwise, we might have IFS session after IFS session (every single one meaningful and tear-wrenching and big-feeling) and be working with endless numbers of parts, but missing the main stuff.

So in those cases, IMO no amount of pure IFS sessions (when there's parts talk the entire time) might be enough if the person were looking for real foundational change.

I work with people who are seeking that Big Prize: becoming who they really are. My process combines IFS and Jungian analysis and takes 1-2 years.

In terms of knowing if it's right for you, I'd say trying a session would be the truest way to tell.

How's this land with you?

In an odd synchronicity I just scrolled across this AMA while listening to a podcast interviewing Frank Anderson. I like the way he speaks, would his content be a good place to start learning about IFS for someone who never heard about it until today?

Beautiuful u/ECU_BSN. It sounds like you and Nelly have quite a mutually trusting relationship.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with everyone.

Hello back, u/TylerJWhit!

1. Re. avoiding retraumatization with solo IFS, see my reply here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nym68/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Lmk if you have more questions around that.
2. I've not worked with anyone formally diagnosed with DID, although I have in-person witnessed another IFS therapist working with such a client who generously allowed therapists-in-training to observe. Typically with IFS, the person will be aware of what each of their parts have said in an IFS session. But with DID, the person will not necessarily be aware of such. DID involves a high level of polarization between parts, a distinct Self-Like part being in charge, and parts blending fully with the person (such that there is no space for Self at all, as I explain regarding the "Regular You" here: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/112yhjm/comment/j8nv7yc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) There can also be a quality of rigidity of parts in contrast to a more harmonious system, in which there is more dynamism and parts might meld in and out of particular forms (Ex. a part met in one session might not appear in the same recognizable form in another session, and that's okay!) Regarding integration, I don't have a particular stance, but I'll say that IFS says that DID is an extreme form of a natural inner dynamic. Therefore, the path to healing in IFS would be applicable to DID.
3. As with any social psychological phenomenon, the detrimental effects of social media are complex. I don't have a set of general thoughts to share because I don't specialize in this. But if you want to ask a more specific question about social media and mental health, you're welcome to.

Are you aware of any research on the efficacy of and/or challenges for autistic people doing IFS therapy?

Congratulations u/juicyonacadillac on getting into an L1 training!

I have to say it feels odd to give straight-up advice since I always want to help people find their own answer, but since you asked I'll give a direct answer🙃

My biggest tip would be to focus on what you've already identified: your own personal experience with IFS. That's the biggest teacher. Whatever you experience while working with your own parts will become your own "training manual" you can draw on any time you're doing IFS with clients. And it'll keep growing.

If I were giving myself advice about L1, I'd say: Don't worry so much about getting the pieces of information, let it more wash over you and become a part of you. This will help you internalize it on a deep level, which becomes lasting.

Luckily you will have lots of opportunities to experience IFS in your own system in the L1 training, as a big part of the process involves taking the "client" role with your fellow trainees.

BTW - I'm assisting a Level 1 IFS training that begins tomorrow, is that the one you'll be in?👐

Hi u/Pastel_Purkinje. Nice question.

Severe trauma requires a clinician who is specially trained in trauma, and I've chosen not to specialize in that.

My focus instead is helping people individuate: helping people become who they really are. I'm working on the border between thriving and functioning. (Rather than the border of functioning and surviving.) This border, too, requires a specialized set of training for someone to become an excellent therapist.

Because I so deeply respect the importance of having qualified support for trauma, I don't offer myself for dealing with actively life-disrupting trauma.

Well put, u/squipple.

u/holdemhigh815 I'll add that I don't recommend doing solo IFS if you feel like you might get overwhelmed and flooded. The last thing we want is this to be a negative experience for you.

Assessing whether solo IFS is right for you involves seeing how supported you feel - do you have access to a therapist you can bring the material that arises in a solo session to, if needed? Are you dealing with big unresolved trauma? How stable do you feel in your life in general?

For my mastermind program Soul-Led IFS, in which people get 1-on-1 guidance from me in learning how to do IFS on themselves, I specify it's designed for adults grounded in at least one realm of adult life (family, home, or work). (This is the program: https://seekdeeply.com/mastermind)

Thanks u/ECU_BSN 😄

In the professional realm, I officially trained in 2011 to 2012, so that makes it over 10 years.

This is pretty unusual, as back then hardly anyone knew about Internal Family Systems. The vast majority of IFS therapists have trained in the last few years.

Living and working with IFS for years has changed my relationship to it and understanding of it to be much more nuanced. At the beginning, I thought it was the Holy Grail of healing. Now I understand it can be a central tool, but it's not the answer in every case. (Not everything is a nail needing a hammer!)

As a client, I was introduced to IFS in my early 20s. So it's been a personal tool for quite a long time.

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I am a IFS “graduate”. This was the ONLY thing that helped me move through some BIG PTSD and anger.

I had 2 parts that were specifically burdened, heavily. I gave one of them the name “Nelly”. Once I understood WHY that “part” did such a difficult job…it made sense. From there it was a bit easier until the burden felt easy and her load was lighter. For me it was “ah. Ok! I now know what you do and why you do that, Nelly. So if anything happens in the future that brings up the trauma we know what to do. And if, forbid, trams happens then you k ow your job Nelly”

So I stopped trying to pry that out of my brain and gave it permission to work when needed. After time she just vibes and I k ow I am capable of enduring.

Hi u/NoLandscape9327 thanks for the thoughtful question.

I'm hearing two questions - lmk if this is correct:

1. As an atheist, how can you handle containment with solo IFS? (Re. asking that which is greater than us to contain us)
2. Whether to allow whatever arises to arise, almost like a free-for-all, given that this feels it'd lead to overwhelm

Re. #1:

[Edit: I want to add this is a really good question and I'm glad you brought it up. I can imagine why you felt disappointed by the "greater than you" prompt]

First, you don't have to believe in G-d to believe there's something greater that you.

Second, you don't have to believe there's something greater than you to make the invitation. I'm curious: If you went ahead and asked something greater than you (going through the motions), even while knowing you don't believe in that, what could that be like?

When we make this invitation, we humble ourselves and name our own inability to contain ourselves as a separate entity (Ex. therapist) would. This is a symbolic act which communicates through layers of the psyche. It's a willingness and acknowledgement that we're not "in charge" in a managerial way.

How is this for you to consider?

On a related tangent, I wouldn't say I believe what happens in IFS is literally true. I don't know if it's true or not. All I know for sure is is it's shown to be a useful metaphor and tool that functions. I don't really care if it's literally true or not. I'm agnostic regarding the literalness of IFS. But for me, it's besides the point.

For #2:

Great question. So what we're actually going for in solo IFS is to be the Regular You. I don't know your name, let's pretend it's Lee. So in solo IFS, we'd want the Regular Lee to be showing up. This is distinct from Self, and it's distinct from parts. It's basically who you are in regular day-to-day life, your normal state of consciousness, when you're not blended with one part. Don't overthink it. It's just you, the person you feel you are, the person who will close the journal after your session and move on with your day.

The Regular You is a mixture of parts all swirled together in your consciousness. The key difference is that you're not blended with one part, because when that happens, when one part is behind the wheel, there is no room for anything else - aka no room for Self. When you're in the Regular You, there is space, and it makes it possible for Self to get in naturally as the solo session progresses. Without striving to have Self come.

Not only is the Regular You the only state from which we can really approach authentic parts work on ourselves, but it's also the bridge between IFS work and your regular life.

So as you become comfortable with the concept of being able to meet your parts from the Regular You - knowing that you don't have to be in that altered state of Self - it becomes easier to be in contact with these parts in day-to-day life. And that means that you can access IFS more easily. You won't need to pull out an official session just to connect inside.

Now, if you're in the Regular You and you're allowing yourself to respond authentically to what arises, that means that if you start to feel overwhelmed by things, you'd respond accordingly. You could say (write) things like:

- "This feels too big"

- "I'm feeling overwhelmed"

Etc.

Of course if your inner compass (that sense of knowing) indicates it's right for you to stop the session early, you can do that!

But in addition, when material from other parts feels overwhelming, we can ask those parts to turn down the intensity. We can also explain our concerns. Everything that happens in a real conversation can happen here.

How is this? Lmk if you have more questions.

IFS therapy saved my literal life.

Glad you are here!

How long have you used IFS as a tool?

Hi Lucille, I appreciate you a lot for your wisdom you share with the world. I have complex PTSD with strong dissociation symptoms. I'm trying to teach my brain the new IFS language but it seems that I will need more than once or twice a week sessions with a therapist to make real change with decoding and reprogramming. What is a good go-to place as an add-on with hands on options on finding recordings of how to manage day to day challenges?

How does someone recover from an incredibly abusive spouse?

Hi Lucille, thank you for this.

I've been attempting IFS on myself and ran into the same issues you said you did on your blog.

What you said about trying to consciously keep track of the process and how it can inherently invite managers makes perfect sense to me.

The thing is, when I read and listened to your method for dealing with this dilemma of "containment" by asking "that which is greater than us to help contain us" I felt a bit dejected, and as an atheist, felt confused about the meaning of this.

I perceived it as just going "Yolo" allowing whatever wants to come up to come up, letting whatever happens happen, and letting the chips fall as they may. Of course, not sure if this is what you meant or not.

This feels scary to me though, fearing emotional overwhelm, if that perception is correct. My protectors wouldn't allow this.

My question is, if someone is an atheist and doesn't believe in the idea of "That which is greater than us" or other spiritual elements you reference, is there any other way to deal with this dilemma of Self-containment?

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I'm not a licensed therapist, but I have read "No Bad Parts" by Richard C. Schwartz (the founder of IFS). In the book he goes through some exercises that are safe to do alone, but he mentions that the unburdening processes should be guided by a licensed therapist. I highly recommend the audiobook version, as the exercises are paced slowly, in a way that they act like mini therapy sessions, and can be revisited again and again.

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Working with an IFS therapist has completely changed my life in a relatively short period of time by my standards (~2 years). I was unemployed, clinically depressed, with severe anxiety for a long time. Now I'm usually connected to my wise self and have the energy and perspective to pursue goals that are meaningful to me. I'm getting my MSW right now and being exposed to a variety of modalities and theories of practice. I wanted to know your perspective on the limited, appropriate use of psychedelics in parts work.

During my process of awakening to my inner selves I had a shamanic, transformational experience with psilocybin. I hadn't used it in many, many years, but after doing IFS therapy it opened a direct path to my inner selves that led to a period of intense personal writing and growth. I don't think the experience would have been transformative without: 1) IFS therapy that set the stage for understanding, 2) An experienced guide to help me during the experience and afterword, 3) An established and effective psychiatric medication regime.

I'm concerned that psychedelic approaches are currently being used too widely, inappropriately, and without proper support; I worry abuse of these tools may keep people from being able to access them.

What are your opinions or experience with IFS and psychedelics?

Do you have any resources for locating a therapist that is familiar with IFS in NY in the USA? Specifically Long Island? I have had no luck in finding a therapist that mentions they are familiar with IFS