Some people believe Jesus walked on water, they'll surely swallow that as well.

I can’t believe that website name wasn’t taken already. Maybe that’s the real miracle here

Prayer gave me back my knees. All my life I’d been last in sports, I’d run in circles instead of straight for a fly ball or a pass- and don’t get me started on my ten minute hockey career. Well, the doctor said while actually laughing and breaking the news that I had two left knees. My mother wept. I never saw her again.

I wondered what to do. i knew I needed help, but everywhere I turned was… right. I was making no progress. I paced one square metre of the streets for hours, deep in thought. And then in church I saw the light. I prayed for the ability to take the left path, others yelling, “No! You idiot- you mean the right path!”

Little did they know. And one day, my prayers were answered! A local lunatic shot up a daycare full of ripe little knee donors!

It turned out that one was a match for my preferred skin tone, so I grabbed it before anyone from some other religion could.

Thanks to Jeebus, I was pirouetting around that kid’s funeral like I would any other Tuesday- only this time, I spun counter clockwise.

Lactose

Lack toes

I’ll go toe to toe with you on that!

Children out here starving in the streets because Jesus is too busy growing toes and helping one fotball team beat the other one.

Get your shit together Jesus, that's bad resource management.

This isn't oniony - this is just yet another charlatan.

The pastor i worked with is basically a Bethel groupie. He was at the time trying to talk me into going to a confrence with him there. His seeking point was that God grew a woman's hymen back. Went i as a female needed to know this, i still have no idea to this day. So glad i no longer but unto that bullshit.

I am stupid apparently, could you explain this to me?

He is responsible to the letter of the law (has to pay them for their work, provide a physically safe environment, etc.). If you start looking into it you'll find he actually doesn't have much responsibility to begin with.

Musk turned into an idiot, or was one to begin with, but we don't limit people's right to do business based on their level of maturity (partly because maturity is subjective, partly because that would mean the world would immediately stop altogether)

It is just so embarrassing to live in Springfield sometimes. I have worked with people who go to that church, it's a cult. They believe everything he says without question. Every. Single. Thing.

So, there is hope for MTG?

Christianity is a disease.

These folks really need to toe the line of solid doctrine

Even worse when he came back

Faith means believing what you been toed!

I see you never lived in the south.

Check his hymn books

Please, please give this poor guy some attention! He's obviously a true man of god.

She’s right. What she’s pointing out is that the PD is punishing her district because she is vocal about the need to change its priorities. This headline is completely misleading.

MTGs toes?

Dude is the Jim Bakker of Springfield

[deleted]

Okay, I’m going back to church when I see someone walk down that aisle with one leg and come back with two.

Okay, I’m going back to church when I see someone walk down that aisle with one leg and come back with two.