It's a good learning experience. You know you deserve better so go out and get it!

Good relationships aren't hard. Remember that as you go forward. You are so young and have so much time to find your person.

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I just know he may see it that way, as his ex used to withhold affection and sex apparently. I’m not getting in to that specifically though, that’s a whole ass problem in itself - and one I have zero facts for.

But yeah it shocked me that he was seemingly genuinely frustrated at me saying no.

“My boyfriend says I’m not allowed…”

Nope, he doesn’t get to decide what you’re “allowed” to do. He doesn’t have authority over you!

Sounds like you both just have different perspectives on alcohol, and there’s no right or wrong. Personally I only drink with other people because I see it as a social thing, but there are plenty of people who enjoy having a drink at home in the evening. The only thing that’s wrong here is the fact that this is an argument and not just a difference of opinion.

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Sounds like she has a bad husband at home, and your husband, who sounds like a loving great guy, is probably just kind to her and she is seeing what a good husband is supposed to look like.

She's asking because she doesn't know what a loving relation ship is.

At least this is what I got from your post, I could be wrong.

>If I stopped doing that, which honestly I want to, I highly doubt they’d even want to see me again.

oh no, the horror....Might mean you would have to make new friends that aren't into the party scene. Which may lead to you dating a non-party girl. All sounds terrible if you have a nasty coke habit with some underlying alcoholism. Otherwise, it sounds fucking great.

Your new friends( you are in a new town right) all seem pretty transitional since the whole thing relies on you partying with them..Time for some new friends.

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Just let him know it's not funny to you, and you want him to stop doing that. You may have to deliver this message several times. Make steady eye contact and say it in a firm voice.

If he doesn't get the message when you do that - several times if necessary - then he's mentally impaired and not worth your time.

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Shit happens.

Also, the way you wrote this sounds like a rough draft for a shitty erotica.

Yes

Just got married doesn't mean happily married...

I forget how shitty people can be. 26 years old and too naive for my own good I think.

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Sounds like he's incredibly selfish sexually and that's also the reason you don't want to do anything. If you explained this to him and he's still not doing anything, why would you want to stay with him?

The phrase "withholding sex" implies that you're retaliating because of something he did. Like a punishment.

You're just saying "I'm not comfortable having sex on my period" which is 100% reasonable. And if he can't respect that, it's time for him to find a new fuck buddy.

I guess I’m just trying to get explanations so I know what the general consensus is. I grew up abused so my judgement on a lot of things is a little skewed sometimes and the only want to make sense of it is to get other peoples thought processes and rationalizations. I’m not arguing to be obtuse, I’m arguing to genuinely learn things that weren’t taught to me when they needed to be taught to me

Have you considered that you too might also be carrying hangups from your past? I think you are focusing on what she said too much.

You need to appreciate this relationship for what it is and take things at a pace that is right for you both. Enjoy the moments and don't let your different respective pasts ruin the present time.

Say no. If he pitches a fit or gets violent, time for a new bf?

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words don't matter, actions do. People lie to get what they want out of you.

If you have to convince someone to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them. That's coercion.

Ok kid