But does his scale model of Canada include a scale model of the scale model of Canada?

I didn't know cancers had a "there can only be one"-type arrangement

Does it? It doesn't make me feel any better the rest of the time.

I can't say I've ever been drunk enough to understand what it was about alcohol that made it worth all that trouble.

So that's why the valley is hidden...

That must've made getting out of jury duty a cinch

"Hi!"

Cheerio, old sport

Since when does Odin wear red?

It has everything to do with what you said. Coca-Cola's version of Santa is not and cannot be the predominant version of Santa because they don't have their own version of Santa and never had.

Not really. His personal appearance was already completely described by Clark Clement Moore in A Visit from St. Nicholas in 1823, a little over 60 years before the Coca-Cola company was even founded, and the Santa Suit had already been developed to to the appoint of having its iconic present day appearance in 1862, 40 years prior to Haddon Sundblom's 1931 Coca Cola campaign. The Coca-Cola company have even gone on record saying they were only copying the look of Thomas Nast's Santa illustrations for Harper's. Only the art itself is original.

That's a myth. Harper's magazine was publishing annual cover illustrations of the modern version of Santa decades before anyone at Coca-Cola thought to base a campaign around him. All Coke did was throw additional weight behind the trend.

At very least we ought to repel Christmas's invasion and occupation of Thanksgiving and sabre-rattling against Halloween

I'm someone, aren't I?

I don't think they got holidays off back then. Certainly not 4-5 straight months of holidays off.

That sounds exhausting.

>January 5th (Three Kings Day)

Also known as the 12th Night. You know, like from Shakespeare.

This was the time before 9/11

We had one of those when I was a kid 'cause I had some sort of allergy that I don't havw anymore

Same with camels

Different Gog and Magog, though that is the source of the names. Sometimes called Gogmagog and Corineus instead.

A fictional Egyptian pharaoh with a very Scottish and not at all Egyptian sounding name, but still.

They said they set firevto the rails, not burn them.

Well yeah, that's not how vampires work.

The name Uranus is definitely older, being an ancient Greek primordial sky god.

Curiously, Uranus is the only one of the planets to be named after the Greek version of a god rather than the Roman one. Uranus's Roman equivalent is called Caelus, a name wholely unlikely to inspire any lewd jokes.