amerkanische_Frosch

amerkanische_Frosch t1_j1zkzlb wrote

Reply to comment by Number5MoMo in A pair loves each other, and one day, they decide to have a baby by [deleted]

The joke doesn't really work because the expression "you guys" is now often used when addressing a mixed group, or even a group of women.

I suspect the OP's original language is not English, because he used the expression "a pair", which is used in many non-English languages to describe what a native English-speaker would call "a couple".

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amerkanische_Frosch t1_j1mluwc wrote

Reply to comment by marco-polo-123 in I was on a date and she said you smell nice, what have you got on? by TaylorFujii

Fellow picks up a girl in a bar, takes her home, they kiss, they make out, and one thing leads to another and there they are, in bed, naked.

After some exciting foreplay, the fellow is about to consummate the deed, when the girl moans: "your toe, I want your toe!"

"EH?" the fellow responds.

"Your TOE", screams the girl, "TAKE ME WITH YOUR BIG TOE!"

Ever the gentlemen, the fellow complies.

A couple of days later, the fellow calls the girl on the phone.

"Err...I don't quite know how to tell you this, but I've been diagnosed with syphilis of the big toe."

The girl screams into the phone:

"You think THAT's something? I have ATHLETE'S CUNT!"

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amerkanische_Frosch t1_iwwz273 wrote

Reply to comment by peter-doubt in German man finds $4.7 million check for Haribo, gets gummy bears as a reward by philamignon

It wasn’t cancelled, it was « crossed ». In Europe that means it can only be paid to the person or entity mentioned on the check, i e., it can’t be endorsed over to someone else. So only Haribo could cash the check.

I agree they had no legal obligation to pay him anything, but a nice gesture might have been to send him a case of the stuff. It would have made good publicity’ too.

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amerkanische_Frosch t1_iuibpfb wrote

Reply to A guy walks into a bar on Halloween by Firegoat1

Lady sends out invitations to a costume party. "Come dressed as an emotion!"

First guest shows up wearing a green spandex outfit with the letters "N" and "V" everywhere. "I'm green with envy!" Hostess laughs and invites him in.

Second guest shows up in a pink outfit with feathers around her private parts. "I'm tickled pink!" Hostess laughs and invites her in.

Two fellows show up, entirely in the nude. One has his dick encased in a tub of yellowish cream, the other has his dick encased in a pear sliced in two and wrapped around his member.

Hostess is outraged: "Just what the hell kind of emotions are THOSE supposed to be?"

First fellow responds: "Well, I'm fucking disgusted. And my friend here has come in despair."

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